When it was over
we took a walk
in our matchings suits
one large
one small
to a hill by the house
where the lights of the city
spread beneath us
like an upended starscape
You were quiet
and still
as a lake in the mountains
Rain tumbled from
the sky
to drown in your eyes
and I charted circles
in my twice-worn shoes
heading nowhere
It was my job
to explain and
to soothe
to find sense
to create meaning
but all I could think of
was the moment
months earlier
when we first saw
the shape of what was
to come
“There is a hole
at the heart of things”
she said “It’s not pain or sorrow
fear or despair
It’s not anything at all
but an ending”
and I knew she was
talking about herself
but also about us
and time
and places
and people
how you’d clutch my hand
like it was a talisman
and the rain would fall
to the earth
and silence
would form between us
in the shape of a mother
lost but never gone
There is a hole at the heart of things
That’s how it all falls out
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